Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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