yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All the doctor said was why
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
