I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
