ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
