I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
