That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
