I wish I could punch you in the face.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it's like heaven, but drunker
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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