I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize