Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
