I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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