i barfeds in our rink
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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