What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
