Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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