I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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