hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
