how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
