i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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