she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We're too hungover to prance.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
