I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
