I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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