This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
