i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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