I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
