grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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