i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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