I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
