i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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