I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
kristin has been a bad kristin
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
