so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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