They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
