Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
