awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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