you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's the barista slut.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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