Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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