The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
