is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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