i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
