i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
