Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
