I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
