I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My cat gives me a boner
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
