Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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