i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
