i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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