I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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