I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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