He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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