OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
