Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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