Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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